Mark: At breakfast joint. No tables. Dude wanders past me. Waitress asks him if he’s on the list. He says no. She asks him his name. I answer. “Mark. 2.”

Evan: Mark, I think I like 30% understand this story

Mark: That was a full story. Wtf

Helen: I don’t really understand it either FYI

Bri: the guy line-jumped so Mark took it back
Bri: i think? well now i doubt myself.

Mark: 🙇 yep
Mark: I wanna know where I failed. “Wandered past me?”

Evan: So your strategy for dealing with an asshole line cutter…was to eat breakfast with him?

Mark: OH MY GOD

Helen: 💖

Evan: Am I missing something?

Mark: I was with my wife. He was with his family.

Evan: Oh
Evan: Dude you gotta include supporting characters

Mark: We were the table getters

Evan: I thought you were both there by yourselves

Mark: They weren’t there! But okay fine.

Bri: this has taken an adorable turn.

Evan: I was picturing Mark and random line cutter guy just awkwardly sitting in a booth together

Mark: That’s a funny outcome

Evan: I once paired up with a random guy so my friend and I could get a table for breakfast sooner
Evan: It was at a diner in SC and the guy turned out to be fucking hilarious
Evan: He had ordered the “country ham and eggs” for breakfast
Evan: Then near when we were done he wanted to put in a to go order to take for his wife
Evan: And literally he says “I want something like this, but do you have anything more like a city ham?”
Evan: My friend and I drop our jaws at this absurd request
Evan: AND THEN
Evan: The waitress is just like “Oh yea sure no problem”
Evan: !!!!!!!!!!
Evan: An absurd question followed only by a more absurd response
Evan: After breakfast we brainstormed a line of children’s books about tolerance and acceptance called “City Ham, Country Ham”
Evan: Where two humanized pigs from different backgrounds become friends and explore the world together

Bri: City ham is a thing
Bri: City ham is brined and country ham is dry-cure

Evan: Bri gtfo