Evan Solomon: Okay so I support this form of joke 100%
Evan Solomon: But
Evan Solomon: That does not *look* like the worst bagel in the world
Evan Solomon: I mean I am not into that asiago bullshit obviously
Evan Solomon: Also real bagels are obviously not arranged in groups of 3 in a slanted line on a too fancy plate
Evan Solomon: They are in wire baskets
Evan Solomon: So yea, this bagel probably blows, but on its own merits it does look bagel-ish

Helen: It also strongly resembles a donut. Cheese donut is not unfair.

Evan Solomon: I don’t know. I feel the need to stand up for the bagel here. I can’t explain why.

Helen: I’m a little surprised at you standing up for something with superfluous cheese.

Evan Solomon: It’s a principled stance

Helen: Seems like conflicting principles to be honest

Evan Solomon: I don’t think so
Evan Solomon: Honestly I’m maybe not even standing up for the bagel because I do believe there’s plenty of reasons to assume it sucks
Evan Solomon: But I don’t think its appearance as a bagel is necessarily one of them

Helen: Faux bagel. A misguided homage to bagels.

Evan Solomon: Is this the title of my autobiography?

Helen: Yes!
Helen: Secondary topics: pizza, chicken parm, and hating cheese but still eating the aforementioned.

Evan Solomon: It’s like a murder mystery
Evan Solomon: I’m kinda pissed at you
Evan Solomon: Because now I want a chicken parm