2016-01-05T20:57:45-08:00

“Oh god, we’re being @evansolomon-stormed.”

January 5, 2016/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

1/ Around noon I started writing a list of stupid conversations that went on for at least 5 minutes in the office next to me, here they are

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 4, 2015

2/ Which yiddish words are hard to pronounce

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 4, 2015

3/ Who had sandwiches named after them and where

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

4/ How many grams of sugar you should eat in a day

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

5/ A video what sounds like a cartoon singing "too many cooks" over and over

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

6/ How steam is different than boiling water

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

7/ Whether it's okay to bend to a dog's will because it's cute & whether the dog will lose its cuteness @ accelerating rate as it gets older

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

8/ Who has the easiest/hardest email personal address to explain to other people

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

9/ And to end, a quote: "On Friday I worked from home and I couldn't believe how much work I got done. It wasn't as much fun though."

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) February 5, 2015

https://twitter.com/GaryPendergast/status/563125325903585280

Remember that time Evan fiddled with a smoke detector while holding a paring knife between his teeth?

January 4, 2016December 29, 2015/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

“I’m like an urban Rambo”

Never forget: The Smoke Detector Episode.

Hanukkah

January 4, 2016March 17, 2016/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

I have lived in my apartment for 3 years and never had to change a lightbulb. This must be what the first Hanukkah felt like.

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) January 4, 2016

On teenaged dating

January 3, 2016/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

Listening to vegans talk about food feels kinda like listening to 15 year olds talk about "going out"

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) January 3, 2016

Evan on Instagram

January 1, 2016/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

I have been surprised to learn that hot girls bending themselves into orthopedic injury inducing poses is such a big thing

Adult refrigerator

December 31, 2015March 18, 2016/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

When I was a kid I never thought I'd spend so much time as an adult smelling each thing in my fridge to figure out which things had spoiled

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) December 31, 2015

In 2012, Evan discovered that his refrigerator shelves slide out. Nothing has been the same since.

On dating apps

December 31, 2015January 4, 2016/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

E: I think dating apps are generally pretty fascinating
They are both clearly better than existing processes and obviously terrible

H: Care to elaborate?

E: Well normal human processes for dating are absurd
Bumble around the earth like a moron until you collide with someone you can stand long enough to procreate
I mean that’s just laughable
Like if someone designed that system for a school or job they would fail or be fired instantly
So dating apps fix the most egregious errors by not relying on as much random chance
But instead they optimize for incredibly shallow decision making based on a profile photo + awkward self description
But it will obviously get better over time and in 25 years it will probably be kinda weird to have not met your significant other on one

H: Even accounting for things like meeting people in school?

E: Yea are you kidding me that’s so horrible
Here’s a self selected hugely biased tiny slice of the entire fucking world
Pick someone to love forever have fun

On dating

December 29, 2015/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

H: Dating seems hard

E: I think of it more as highly error prone

H: #evanism

E: Hahaha
It really is. You have limited information, both people are being at least partly deceitful, and most people are loss averse.
It’s basically the worst way in the world to make a decision

2015: The year of The Wrong Evan Solomon

December 28, 2015/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

The Canadian version of me got fired from his job as a TV anchor for selling art, and I don't understand anything. https://t.co/XqIDtAXeaE

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 9, 2015

Day in the life of an accidental Canadian celebrity https://t.co/YnNTMB4JoM

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 10, 2015

If any Canadian journalists want a statement about @evansolomoncbc getting fired, I recommend dm'ing me w/o realizing you have the wrong guy

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 10, 2015

Canadian newspapers have referred to me this morning as "Other Evan Solomon" and "The wrong Evan Solomon" http://t.co/uLilbZZXWM

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 10, 2015

I am pretty cool, says Canada http://t.co/GMaexiXZQA

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 10, 2015

Basically my last 24 hours https://t.co/jaKBjvBor2

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 10, 2015

#audience pic.twitter.com/QY9wZypUiM

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 10, 2015

“Evan Solomon, eh? In which I lobby to appropriate a Canadian TV show” https://t.co/Mru2YDW7vh

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 11, 2015

Dear Canada, I want a TV show. One of you can make this happen. https://t.co/Mru2YDW7vh

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 11, 2015

First I was "wrong Evan", then "other Evan", then "fake Evan." Now I'm a "hapless Yankee," according to Canadian TV. https://t.co/nagDEg367W

— Evan Solomon (@evansolomon) June 12, 2015

Is the emoji standard an Evanism?

December 28, 2015/Helen Hou-Sandí/Leave a comment

@helenhousandi @nacin @wonderboymusic This makes me think that @evansolomon is the author of the emoji standard.

— Aaron Jorbin (@aaronjorbin) April 26, 2015

Evanisms

Highlights from a guy who just doesn't like cheese